


Until You're Ready

by negickapologist (neganstonguething)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU, M/M, Prompt Fic, and rick is just running around with a bucket trying to catch them all, in which negan has a lot of feelings, no zombies, sappy negan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:18:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neganstonguething/pseuds/negickapologist
Summary: Rick decides to ask Negan to pretend to be his boyfriend so he can take him to dinner with his parents. Turns out 'pretend' is the last thing either of them are in for. Prompt fic inspired by grab-my-boner on tumblr.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be like 500 words wtf. 
> 
> I wasn't going to post it on here but I apparently spent the last handful of hours pouring my feelings out into this prompt. Thanks, grab-my-boner! c:

Rick should have known that asking Negan to accompany him to his parents’ house as his date was going to be nothing short of interesting.

Really, 'just pretend to be my date' was never a difficult request. Negan’s always happy to make Rick uncomfortable, no matter the setting. So for Rick to suddenly spring onto him that he needed someone to pretend to be his boyfriend because his relationship status always seemed to be a topic of discussion if he went to his parents’ house alone...well, if Rick’s trying to get a quick ‘yes’, Negan’s the prime choice.

The thing about Negan is that he is going to play this shit out all the way. Rick has no doubt in his mind that his family will be one hundred and twenty percent convinced that they're an item if Negan's portrayal has any say in it. It's as much a good thing as it is a bad thing, though, because Negan can also get pretty graphic with details, and considering some of the reactions Rick himself has had to Negan's commentary, he can only imagine what his parents are going to think.

So why he chose Negan, he's still trying to figure out. But it's too late to go back, so he's just going to have to roll with it.

Rick's maybe a bit overdressed for Sunday night dinner, clad in a nice plaid button-up, tucked neatly into his black slacks and sealed with a black leather belt. He's actually taken the time to shine his dress shoes and slick his hair back until not a single curl falls out of place. The blue plaid on the shirt brings out his eyes, and when he looks in the mirror, he almost remembers his days as a kid attending church. This would've been exactly how his mother would have dressed him all those years ago. The only thing that's out of place is the cologne he's applied--a nice scent he's long-since forgotten the title of. Ocean something. As a kid, his mother had always insisted didn't need it.

Rick imagines Negan's going to show up in that godforsaken jacket and those filthy biker boots of his, complete with red scarf and gloved hands that will no doubt have his father asking where the Harley is. Not necessarily a bad thing, since they'd probably delve into a conversation about motorcycles from there and Rick could make his escape to ask his mother how she and the rest of the family are doing.

He's starting to get nervous. One part because it's been a long time since he last brought a date to dinner with his parents, and two because he has no idea how Negan is going to react to his family or clothes, or vice versa. This whole situation is so incredibly foreign to Rick that he's actually freaking out. And being midway through his forties, that's pretty damned embarrassing.

He's in the process of checking his teeth and adjusting his watch and straightening his collar for the fifth fucking time when his phone suddenly buzzes, making him damn near jump out of his nice dress shoes. Rick doesn't even have to look to see who the sender is to tell it's Negan. It isn't every day someone says ' _im here, come the fuck on out_ ' in a text message, after all.

So he does just that. He heads downstairs, making his way into the kitchen, where he's got a list of emergency numbers written down. He places two twenty-dollar bills on the counter next to the note, and then clears his throat to get Carl's attention. Said Carl is perched on the couch in the living room, with his sister cuddled up next to him. Sophia rests on the armchair, a can of soda half-risen to her lips. Carl and Judith aren't going with Rick and Negan tonight, but Carl has promised his grandparents that he and Judith will be spending the night the next weekend. The seventeen-year-old doesn't see enough of them, but Rick's thankful he and his six-year-old sister have decided to stay in for the night. He has no idea what Negan might say or do tonight.

Why again is he pretending to have a boyfriend at forty-five?

"I'm leavin' some money here. You guys can order a pizza or somethin'. Don't keep Judy up too late, alright?" Rick's voice is rushed, and he knows it, but Negan has a penchant for impatience, and 'date night' is not the ideal night to let him get that way.

"Sure thing, dad." Carl says, turning around to look at his father over the backrest of the couch. Rick sees his son's eyes widen, before he lets out a breathy laugh Rick is certain he's learned from Negan. "Holy shit--"

"--Carl, your sister's right there."

"Sorry. But you're a nervous wreck." Carl crooks his head to the side, an eyebrow flying up in the process. "It's just Negan." Rick has already told Carl what he's dragging Negan along for and why--a big part of the reason his son chose to stay home and watch Judith instead of coming with him.

"You've heard him talk." Rick answers simply, before he adjusts one of the cuffs on his button-up and starts toward the door. "Sophia can spend the night if you two keep the volume on your games down. It's gonna be a long night, so please don't make me come home to a cranky, awake Judy."

"A long night, Mister Grimes?" Sophia raises both eyebrows, and Carl fails to stifle a laugh. "I thought Negan was a _pretend_ date."

Okay, so Carl let the cat out of the bag to his best friend, then. Big surprise, but at least it's Sophia. She's been a friend of the family ever since she was born, right after Carol moved in next door.

"That's exactly what he's gonna be." Rick points out. "Don't look at me like that."

She waggles her eyebrows. "Still looking at you like that."

Rick just rolls his eyes. "Be good, guys. I'll see you tonight." He exits the door just as Judith joins in on the laughter even though she doesn't really know what's going on. In the driveway, he can see Negan playing on his phone, the bluish backlight gleaming on his face. Maybe he's typing away at another text message to get Rick to hurry up.

When Rick opens the door, he's surprised to see that Negan actually _isn't_ in his usual leather jacket. The guy has chosen a black suit with a red undershirt, and he's wearing some sort of cologne that Rick realizes amidst a flashback of Sophia's eyebrow-waggle smells _good_. Negan looks good, smells good, and when he peers up at Rick from his phone and that smile tugs at the corners of his lips, Rick finds he's impressed by just how cleaned-up the bad boy Negan can get.

"You're not supposed to make your ride wait, Rick." Negan greets. Rick notices he's shaved off his beard, and he almost feels guilty for not doing away with the short one he himself sports. Either way, he likes how Negan looks, all clean-shaven like that. He can see the sharp jawline and the dimples that form when he grins better, now.

In Sophia's defense, Negan _is_ attractive...

It's just when the guy opens his mouth that Rick wants to shove something in it to make him stop talking.

"It hasn't even been five minutes." Rick finally answers, as Negan shifts his car into reverse and backs them out of the driveway. He notices when Negan grips at the passenger side headrest while he backs up just how nice his arm looks in those fancy black sleeves. With his arm stretched out like this, Rick can see the red cuff of his undershirt protruding from the black suit, covering up all but a tiny portion of his wrist. Rick clears his throat.

"So, why the suit?"

"Why not?" Negan asks, rolling his shoulders as he rights himself and switches the car to drive. "Gotta make a good impression on your parentals, lest they think you're out of your fucking skull with this one."

Good point, Negan. Color Rick a little impressed. "You're gonna have to watch the language if you want to do that, you know."

"You'd be surprised what I'm capable of." Negan winks. "Besides, I'm not a total shitburger--I'd feel real fucking disgusted with myself if I made you look bad in front of your parents."

It's kind of nice, the way Negan's already trying so hard, and his 'don't give a shit' attitude being put on the backburner for Rick's sake is flattering as hell, too. But Rick also notices how Negan thinks his behavior is shitty enough that he needs to change it in front of his parents. All this time, Rick had been hoping his parents would just...be okay enough with the guy to accept him as Rick's boyfriend. He hadn't thought to suggest Negan be the one to tone things down--a big implication that he doesn't actually mind the kind of guy Negan is.

He wouldn't be Negan without it.

"You'll do fine." Rick realizes aloud. "I asked you to do this for a reason."

"Yeah," Negan responds, "and what is that reason, anyway?"

"I already told you." Rick lets out a sigh. "I just want to go to dinner and not be interrogated about my relationship status--"

"--no, dumbass." Negan mocks his sigh. "I get that. And maybe I'm a little late asking this, since I kind of jumped on this fucking saddle while I had the chance without question, but why do you feel the need to explain yourself to your parents? You've got two kids, and you're halfway through your life. Surely they don't give as many shits about this as you're letting on?"

It's a valid question, and while Rick knows the answer to it, he spends some time trying to figure out how to put it into words. He scratches the back of his neck almost apprehensively. "They just want to see me happy, so I guess I just want to give them a chance to."

"Are you happy?" Negan asks, shooting Rick a pointed glance. Moments of seriousness are rare from Negan, but Rick can tell he's being that way with him right now.

"Yeah, I am-- _so_ happy." Rick admits. "I mean, I wasn't six years ago, but I have Carl and Judith, my neighbors and friends...you." He smiles almost solemnly. "I got a lot to be happy about, but for Mom and Dad, happiness is bein' able to move on past what happened to Lori and fall into someone else's arms. Look, you don't have to keep it goin' or anything. I just need this one night--"

"You don't have to get all saccharine with me, Rick." Negan laughs, though Rick sees some warmth in it. "Let's just see how this fucker goes and pick up from there, alright?"

Rick nods. "...Yeah, okay. Thanks, Negan."

He and Negan have been close friends ever since Lori passed away. She and Rick had ended up hospitalized in a car accident, and during her hospital stay, Lori had been whisked away into an emergency C-section. She didn't make it, but the newborn Judith did. Once the baby had been deemed healthy enough to leave the hospital, Carol(who had been watching Carl already) kept her while Rick continued to recover from the accident. He was moved into a shared room, where he met Negan. Coincidentally, the man had also been injured in a crash.

Rick hadn't talked much at first, but Negan, just like today, has always had the strange ability to pull conversation right out of a person. Two days in and the men were conversing regularly. On the fourth, Rick told Negan about Lori. and on the fifth, Negan told Rick about Lucille, who had died of cancer years before.

They've been inseparable ever since. Negan lives a couple miles away, in a neighboring suburb, but he's almost always at Rick's house. He's around enough that Judith calls him 'Uncle' and he and Carl are and have been in a constant competition to beat one another's Geometry Wars 2 Pacifism score for years. He hosts cookouts from Rick's house that often turn into late-night parties, and the neighborhood, ever trusting of Rick and his judgment, have welcomed him with open arms. The only person he hangs out with even close to as much as Rick is Abraham, and it's usually over copious amounts of beer during those late-night cookout parties. If not that, he's over there while Rick's at work.

Rick had plenty of other choices as potential dates. Carol, a single parent like Rick, would've made a perfect date, but the two honestly laughed together at the discussion of it. She suggested Michonne and implied that Ezekiel wouldn't mind, knowing how smitten the two are by one another and that a pretend date wouldn't mean anything, but Rick just didn't have the heart, especially recalling the brief relationship the two had.

In the end, it was always Negan. Rick knows that no one knows him better than Negan does. And he can almost always read what Rick's going to say or do, so if there's anyone who looks perfect for Rick, it's him. And going by how quickly Negan had jumped on the offer, Rick guesses he agrees.

It's not going to be difficult playing this off. And yeah, Rick's thought about what comes after tonight, when the 'date' is over. If they manage to play it off well enough, his parents are going to want to see them at bigger family dinners, out and about, and if they pay a visit, Negan had better be there. He knows they're either going to have to continue to make the relationship look real or play it off as a smooth breakup. But the latter kind of defeats the purpose.

He knows he's digging himself in deep and taking Negan with him, but the other man doesn't seem to mind, so he tries not to feel too guilty about it.

The metallic clicking of the gearshift into Park alerts Rick that they've reached their destination. He looks up from his lap(and wandering thoughts) and peers out the window to his parents' home. His mother and father are upper middle class, living in a sprawling home in one of those stereotypical white-picket-fence neighborhoods. The bushes at the entryway are well-manicured, and the porch light gives a beautiful view of a massive two-story brick building. Rick sighs and Negan inhales.

"Damn, Rick." The other man says. "I think I get why you're so fucking nervous, now. Better make this look good."

Rick appreciates that Negan doesn't overdo it by trying to open the door for him. They both climb out of the car, and Negan sweeps in beside him as they start up the stone sidewalk leading to the house. He slides an arm around Rick's shoulders and leans in close. When Rick looks up, he sees Negan mouth 'we've got this'. His confidence is contagious.

He rings the doorbell, and in less than ten seconds, his mother pushes it open. Negan separates from him just in time for the woman to pull him into a big hug. His mother is small and mousy in appearance, with her hair pulled out of her face by a headband and bright blue eyes, but she's louder than her frame lets on.

"Rick!" She coos, pulling back and dragging her hand down the side of her son's face. "I missed you so much. How've you been?"

Rick smiles, his initial nervousness momentarily forgotten. "I'm great, Mom. Missed you too." He clears his throat. "So, uh, this is Negan. My boyfriend." Rick notices how easily the word falls off his tongue. It seems he's not having as much trouble getting into character as he had initially predicted.

Negan extends a hand. "Nice to meet you, Ma'am." As his mother reaches out to shake Negan's hand, Rick notices with some amusement how Negan learns she's got a firm handshake. "Thanks for having us."

"Of course--Lord knows we've been itching to see our boy settle down again." Rick's mother says. "I'm Mary. Come in, come in!" She beckons the two men into a massive living room, with stairs leading up to a loft in the back. Rick still remembers which bedroom used to be his. He doesn't have a doubt in his mind that his parents still have it set up for him just in case he were to visit. Jeff's old bedroom is right next door to his, and then next to that is the guest bedroom, which now serves as the room Judith and Carl sleep in when they spend the night. A fire burns in the living room's fireplace, crackling and popping and creating the very homey, wintery smell Rick has always appreciated about his parents' place.

Mary leads them into the dining room, where she's already got dinner prepared for them. Rick casts a glance up at Negan, who is suddenly more nervous than he was in the car. He's doing one hell of a job keeping his cool, but Rick can tell in the minuscule furrowing of his brow that he's a little out of his element. For a guy who almost tackled this opportunity with open arms, it's somewhat of a surprise to see Negan under this much pressure all of a sudden.

He reaches out and takes his friend's hand, giving it a squeeze. It's not hard to play into the role he's given himself and Negan by way of leaning in close, whispering a quick "relax..." into Negan's ear. He feels Negan's grip tighten on his fingers, and his body suddenly feels prickly and warm. He swallows an excitement he doesn't understand.

His mother directs him and Negan to seats on one side of the table, next to one another. As they take a seat, Rick's father enters the room. He's tall and burly, clean-shaven, with a worn gray baseball cap planted atop his head. Rick knows it's to cover up the baldness he's always been so embarrassed by, but he leaves Negan guessing for the time being.

"Well, hey there." The man greets, his voice deep and raspy. Negan shakes his hand. "'Bout time you got over here to see us--it's a pleasure...uh..."

"Negan." Negan says with a nod. "Pleasure's mine, Mister Grimes."

"Aww, Hell, don't call me that." Rick's dad wrinkles his nose. "I'm Kenneth--Kenny, just call me Kenny."

Rick takes some relief in how quickly Negan relaxes there. His family isn't uptight, really. Most of Rick's anxiety comes from actually being able to pull this thing off at this point, though he does still wonder how well Negan's going to be able to contain his usual vernacular. His parents are friendly, but still a bit old-fashioned. The 'f' word isn't exactly something they care to hear every other sentence.

But things are actually going pretty well. Mary asks Negan questions about his job as a gym teacher, which leads into himself and Kenneth discussing the Royals. Rick learns that Negan is actually from Kansas City and realizes that he and Kenny are going to bond over baseball for approximately the next several hours if they have their way, so he finds some relief in his mother cutting in.

"So, boys." She says, shooting her husband an apologetic glance, before she turns her focus to Rick and Negan. "How'd you meet?"

Rick doesn't know if it's a good idea to be honest about how they met, but Negan doesn't seem to mind. "We were roommates at the hospital." He says, and Rick forces a lump down in his throat. He's not sure how bringing up the accident is going to affect dinner, as his parents took Lori's death almost as hard as Rick himself did. "Been hanging out ever since."

"Oh, wow." Mary looks almost dazed for a moment. "That means the two of you have known one another for more than half a decade, then. How long have you been together?"

It's Rick's turn to be nervous, and apparently Negan notices, because a hand moves to rest on his thigh. It's probably intended to be comforting, but it makes Rick tense even further. It's so intimate--something he and Negan have never been before, unless you count the long hugs they've shared on particularly depressed drunken nights together.

Either way, Negan seems to want to take the reins, so Rick lets him. He looks to his 'boyfriend' as said 'boyfriend' speaks up yet again.

"Three months." He says decisively, and Rick finds himself turning his head and nodding to his mother, as if in agreement. "Three months, one week, four days."

"Huh." Kenny joins in. "Not very long. What kept you guys from crossin' the line before then?"

Rick resists the urge to turn and look at Negan again. He tries to come up with a response himself, but decides that Negan's probably got a story set up here, so he's going to let the guy work with it.

He is not disappointed.

"My wife died of cancer a few years before he lost his." Negan answers honestly. "We both had to do a lot of soul-searching before we could get to that point, y'know? I mean, Rick's a fine piece of..." Negan freezes when he realizes what he almost said, but he relaxes considerably when Rick's father snickers and his mother just clears her throat and looks away. It's impressive that he can continue after that, Rick thinks. "Well, you know where I'm getting at with that. The guy's damn good-looking, and he and I sort of spent a lot of time just talking while we were in the hospital. We took down numbers when I got discharged, and then started hanging out after he left. We've been close for all those years."

There's a silence after that. It's one Rick realizes after a few seconds means the story isn't over, and both his parents are aware of that. It also feels so incredibly real that Rick can't stop himself from looking up at the other man in waiting.

"Now, I don't know about Rick," Negan continues, shaking his head, "but I've been crazy for him for at least half of those years. I just...didn't want to hurt him by making my move while he was still healing. I'm not a great person, guys. But this one...he's a keeper, and I just wanted to make sure he was ready to have me before I decided to have him."

By the time he finishes, Rick is gaping at him. Watching him talk was like watching the love confession scene from a movie, and he's almost waiting for the kiss. He can't stop staring, even as Negan curls an arm tightly around his shoulders, kisses his temple, and mutters "love you, babe," against his skin.

He almost feels dizzy from the moment, so he's relieved when Negan and Kenny return to their baseball conversation and he can focus on the lemon-baked chicken in front of him instead.

He feels like he's just noticing something for the first time, and he can't shake the suspicion that it's Negan's affection for him. And really, it all makes a lot of sense. Negan had jumped so quickly on the chance to do this date, pretend or not. He'd dressed up, and he had come into it with a determination to make a good impression. On top of all that, the only other time Rick has seen Negan look so raw and serene during a conversation was when he'd talked about how much he loved Lucille.

At this point, it's highly possible that Negan can pretend to be in love with him so well because he's _actually_ in love with him, and Rick takes from that thought a sense of anticipation that's both frightening and comforting all at the same time--yet another disorienting blend of emotions he's not sure he's properly equipped to handle.

While he eats, Rick thinks about his own feelings. Over the booming laughter of Negan and his father, he ponders the way he looks at Negan. He's always loved him, of course, but _in love_ with him? He's never had a problem letting the guy into his home or his life or frankly anywhere. Negan's an asshole, but Rick can only remember being truly upset by him a couple of times. He's always been there for Rick and his family, and he loves Judith and Carl like they're his own. Yeah, he's unpredictable and vulgar, but Rick doesn't think he'd want to see him any other way.

It's possible all these feelings are stemming from realizing how Negan's been feeling, but damn if Rick's heart isn't racing in his chest right now, stomach fluttering so much he's starting to feel like eating is a bad idea. The champagne his parents have served him looks good, but he's got enough bubbling in his diaphragm right now, thank you.

After dinner, Kenny and Negan retreat to the garage, where Rick can hear them cheering all the way from the kitchen. They've decided to shoot pool, and it's apparently getting really intense because the laughter and whoops are getting louder. Rick has never imagined pool could get this loud, but he supposes that if anyone has the ability to make a game of eight-ball loud, it'd be Negan and his father. He smiles almost fondly as he dries the dishes being passed off to him by his mother.

"So that's him, huh?" Mary finally says, and Rick can tell she's been contemplating how to word her thoughts. He nods slowly. "He's...interesting."

"That's puttin' it lightly." Rick agrees. "You should see him when he's not tryin' to impress you." He's sure Negan doesn't want him to point that out, but doesn't any date try and impress their partner's parents? Isn't that how that whole thing works?

"I can hear him plenty well." She answers with a laugh as she passes her son a plate.

"That's a good point." Rick mirrors her laugh. Even though his mother is loud, they both have a soft, gravely laugh.

"Do the kids like him?"

Rick nods. "Took Carl a while, but Judy's grown up around him, so she's always been attached to him. She's got him wrapped around her finger." Another fond smile works its way across his lips.

"I can imagine." Mary answers. Rick can hear the smile in her voice. "Guy like that wouldn't talk about you like he does if he didn't want to be around your kids. It's sweet. I think he fits right in."

"Yeah." Rick agrees. "Me too."

He's always thought Negan fit in, too. Feelings or no feelings, the guy's been a part of the family ever since he and Rick met in that hospital. He means that one from the bottom of his heart.

Mary suddenly sweeps her son up into a big hug, and when she pulls away, she kisses his cheek. "I'm so proud of you." Her hand is on his face again, and Rick notices how damp her fingers are from washing dishes. "You're so strong, Rick Grimes. Can I make a request?"

Rick swallows, but shakes his head affirmatively.

"Don't ever feel guilty for moving on." Rick sees moisture on his mother's eyes, and he almost melts at the sight. He's seen his father cry more than his mother, so this has to mean something. Her thumb strokes his cheek. "You loved Lori so much, and I know it can be scary to go through that again. I can't imagine how afraid you are of losing someone, but the past isn't guaranteed to repeat itself. I've spent so many nights thinking about how my little boy is scared to be happy for fear of having it taken away all over again. But you've got to take this one, baby. You've got to take it and run with it."

There's something about Mary's intuition that shakes Rick to the core. It always has. His mother has always been incredibly wise, and her ability to see past Negan's performance tonight speaks volumes about what she's saying now. If she sees someone so perfect in Negan, who is Rick to question that? He doesn't remember when he went from seeing Negan as a pretend partner to viewing him as a potentially very real one, but he sure does now.

And maybe it won't work out. Maybe they'll break it off and decide to stay friends, but if Negan's got feelings for Rick, he's got to at least ask. He's got to be sure. His mother's opened a door that he desperately wants closure for.

"...You got it, Mom." Rick says, before he kisses her forehead, gives her another big hug, and walks toward the door leading to the garage. "Thanks. You always know exactly what to say."

"Well, duh." Mary laughs. "I'm your mother."

He opens the door just in time to see Kenny shoot the last of the striped balls into the corner pocket, leaving a handful of solids and the eight-ball. Negan bows back a little, shocked, and lets out a harsh laugh.

"You're _creaming_ my ass, man!" Negan says, and when he looks up from the table, his eyes meet Rick's. Rick sees them light up, followed by a massive grin that Rick can't help but mirror. His stomach gets that weird, idyllic jitteriness again, as he leans against the doorway.

"Hey." He greets. While Kenny waves to his son and then gets back to finishing the game, Negan sweeps in close, stopping at the base of the two steps leading down into the garage. He looks up at Rick, smirking that oh-so-Negan smirk.

"Well, there's my lucky charm. Where were you at the start of this damn game?" He presses a kiss to Rick's shoulder, and then turns to watch just in time to see Kenny shoot the eight-ball into one of the side pockets. "I could've used you--don't stand a Klondike Bar's chance in hell without you."

Rick's father laughs. "It's not about luck, Negan." He points a teasing finger in Negan's direction. "It's skill. I live with this thing--I've had plenty of practice. Know my way around a Billiards table better'n I know my way around this town."

"I like that answer." Negan grins, moving to clap Kenny on the back enthusiastically. "Beats just saying I suck ass at it and leaving it at that. Thank you."

The older man just laughs once more. "Just come back around--get your own practice, and maybe you can make it interesting for me next time. You'd better be coming back."

Negan hesitates, and Rick notices he casts a glance his way, as if seeking approval. Without thinking, he nods quickly. The tension literally falls out of the air as Negan focuses back on Rick's dad. "You know I will be, old timer. I've had a blast tonight."

"Good." Kenny smiles, and as he continues speaking, Rick feels his mother's hand on his shoulder. He casts her a smile of his own. "Why don't you come with your man here when he drops the grandkids off next weekend? We'll shoot another round. I'll teach you a few things."

"Well, hell yeah!" Negan cheers. "I like the way you think!"

Sensing that their night is about to come to an end, Rick backs up and lets the two men into the house again, shutting the door behind them. He watches as Negan grabs his suit jacket from the dining room chair where he'd abandoned it, and they all shuffle toward the door. Before Rick opens the door, Negan speaks up.

"Guys," he says, letting out a sigh, "I dunno if you could tell when I first started here, but I was scared shitless. Sounds kinda weird, I know," Rick finds amusement in the way Negan bobs his head from side to side in one of his usual, exaggerated gestures, "being fifty years old and nervous about meeting the folks, but that's how it is."

Rick notices how unaffected his parents are by Negan's words and actions. He appreciates that they've warmed up to him so well, just as much as it makes him nervous. He still has to tackle this whole 'pretend date' thing. From the looks of it right now, though, Negan's going to be hanging out with his family pretty damned often.

"So thanks...you know...for taking this as it is. This is most definitely _not_ the fucking way I expected this shit to roll."

Whoops, there goes the 'f' word. But apparently, Mary and Kenny realize he's an adult and that word's going to fly out from time to time, because they only briefly hesitate, before nodding and shaking his hand once more.

"You're welcome." Mary says after she releases Negan's hand. "And thank you for loving my boy."

Once the door shuts behind them, silence fills the area around them. Negan takes Rick's hand, and then walk calmly to his car. Rick dares to lace their fingers, and Negan gives his hand an approving squeeze in response. They separate long enough to get into the car, and then their hands are intertwined all over again as Negan starts driving.

It's awkward, but not unpleasantly so. There's an understanding sort of quiet inside the car, as Rick stares out the window and watches the trees and houses breeze by. He's just trying to figure out how to word everything he wants to say. And there's a _lot_ of everything to be said. He's almost jealous of how flawlessly Negan was able to express himself, because he's frankly terrified of not saying enough. If Negan's had all these feelings for this long, how in the hell is Rick going to even measure up to that?

Negan's thumb brushes across the skin of Rick's hand, successfully bringing him out of his thoughts. He turns his gaze away from the window to look at the other man. Negan's focus is on the road, but Rick can see something in his stare. He doesn't smile all the damn time, but this flat-lipped, almost anxious look isn't his normal, either. Rick decides he really needs to speak up, and now, because it occurs to him that Negan is dying to hear something...anything. He's been trying to be quiet for Rick--to allow him to sort through his thoughts, but apparently, the anticipation is killing him.

"Negan...I--"

"I love you."

Negan's eyes don't leave the road, and Rick gets the feeling it's because of far more than just watching for pedestrians or stop lights. He closes his mouth, eyebrows coming together, because holy shit, those words are hitting him hard. Coming from Negan, they make Rick feel lighter than air in a frightening sort of way.

Negan's hand starts to shake, but he continues speaking regardless. "I meant it--what I said at that dinner table. I'm in love with you, Rick."

"Negan..." Rick wishes they weren't in a moving car, so that he could get the guy to look at him. He wonders if Negan would even if they weren't.

"Three years, and I can still remember the day, right down to the fucking minute that I--" He swallows, and Rick can feel the fear emanating from him. "That winter when we actually got a shit-ton of snow. You, all anti-cold and shit, with like six fucking layers of clothes on, standing outside of that damn school parking lot, holding a fucking coffee out for me." He laughs, a raspy and tense laugh. "I could barely see your face. But I could tell you were pissed that you were out there in the snow. But you knew I didn't want to be out there shoveling snow. You actually took the time, probably driving like...five fucking miles an hour, to get me a coffee before you went to work."

Rick remembers that day, and it fascinates him how accurately Negan has hit the nail on the head. All the way from the slow driving to the distaste for the bitter cold and snowflakes peppering his nose, Negan's got it down. He smiles despite the uneasiness of the other man's voice and demeanor. He even goes so far as to give Negan's hand a squeeze.

"And it's not even because you did that for me, Rick." Negan continues. "It's because I wanted to _keep seeing you_ do shit like that for me. That stupid fucking scowl on your face that screamed 'you'd better thank me for this', and the awkward way you waddled through the fucking snow in that suit that looked like a sleeping bag. You make the best faces, and your heart comes out in the stupidest goddamn moments. And fuck anyone who says I shouldn't get to see that for the rest of my damn life."

Rick's finally starting to relax, especially now that he sees Negan is beginning to do the same. His eyes dart about the car, from Negan's face to the dashboard, to his own lap, and back up to Negan, just in time for him to pull the car over. Rick notices it's not in his driveway. He's just parallel parked along some random curb. But once he's at a full stop, he releases Rick's hand and turns to face him.

"I love you." He says again, before he leans across the gearshift dividing himself and Rick and kisses him.

Rick swears the world around him disintegrates. The car stops existing, all the way from the seat beneath him. The cool air from the vent disappears. The night sky fades away, and all that matters is the hand suddenly on the side of his face and Negan's lips against his own. Rick can feel his nose on his cheek, the softness of his lips on his own, and the gentle tickle of his eyelashes on his skin as his eyes fall shut.

And it's just them. Just them and their own world and Negan's innate ability to somehow be so soothing and so goddamned erratic all at the same time. As he raises a hand to the back of Negan's neck and pulls him in closer, he feels the tension leave the other man's body. He relaxes, and Rick feels him exhale his relief through his nose. He cups both sides of Negan's face, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips, before he opens his mouth and moves in to deepen the kiss.

Rick falls further into the overwhelming sensation that can only be described as _Negan_ with each time their lips come open and then mutually fall shut together again. Before he knows it, he's got his arms around the other man's neck, and he's the one shaking now. He breaks off the kiss and rests their foreheads together, his eyes shut and their shaky breathing the only sound in the car. The world feels as if it's trembling around them.

"Say it again."

Negan inhales, and then sighs the words against the skin of Rick's cheek as he presses a kiss just below his right eye. "I love you."

Rick's fingers tremble against the skin on either side of Negan's face, and he steals another kiss from the older man's lips. "Again."

Negan sinks into that kiss, and Rick feels his skin pull and crease as his eyebrows furrow upward. There's a passion to every gesture he holds right now--one that tears Rick apart in the best way possible. "I love you, Rick. Fuck this 'pretend date' bullshit straight out of the picture. I know you do too."

He pulls back until he and Rick are several inches apart and looks him dead in the eyes. Rick sees so much behind that stare that he actually finds himself slammed headfirst with a wave of emotion so strong that his grip slides down to Negan's shoulders, where he curls his hands into loose fists around the jacket there.

"I won't do it unless you're ready." Negan says. "I'll wait as long as you need. But you've got to throw me a bone here. Let me know where you stand."

Rick doesn't remember feeling like this yesterday, or the day before, or before that. Rather, he doesn't remember being aware of it. But right now, he's so sure of himself that he almost can't contain it. There's only a moment's hesitation before he nods.

"I want to give it a shot." He says, and it surprises him how shaky his own voice is. "I want to give this a try...us. I...god, Negan. I love you."

Negan's name feels so right falling off of Rick's tongue in that desperate tone, and he can't resist pulling the other man in for yet another heated kiss. He shivers into the way Negan's fingers are suddenly in his hair, and they're coming apart in unison, falling into one another together.

When they get home, everyone's asleep. Carl's passed out with his head in Sofia's lap, and she's asleep slumped sideways against the backrest of the couch. Judith is snoozing on a pallet on the floor (Rick assumes because she stayed up and watched them play games). Rick doesn't have it in him to say goodbye there. He takes Negan's hand and leads him up the stairs to his room and they pull the door shut behind them.

Rick looks over to Negan as he slips out of his clothes. He smiles, still a little overstimulated by everything, and the flush in his face shows it. Clearing his throat, he nods to his dresser. "You've got pants in the top drawer from all the times you've stayed over before."

Negan nods as he works open the buttons to his undershirt. Rick makes his way to said dresser and withdraws the pajama pants he was referring to, as well as a pair of his own. He's about to turn around and offer them to Negan when he feels the warm press of bare skin against his own back, and then the softness of a kiss on the back of his neck. Rick drops the clothes back into the drawer and turns slowly, melting into Negan once more. He finds his arms fit perfectly around Negan's sides, hands planted on his shoulder blades.

He feels Negan's hand on the side of his face, thumb brushing his cheek as they fall into another kiss. Rick's breath shakes in every movement, and it catches in his throat when Negan whispers his name and presses his body against his, effectively pushing him back against the dresser.

They're kissing against Rick's dresser, and then they're _moving_ against it. Rick's still in his boxers, and Negan in his dress pants, as their hips rock against one another. It's so simple and desperate and exactly what they need that Rick doesn't mind it. His lips fall sloppily from Negan's, and he kisses the larger man's shoulder, before resting his forehead on it and focusing on moving. Their panting breaths fill the room, and Rick's fingers stutter against Negan's back. He likes the way the larger man's fingers crawl up along his thighs and his sides and move to tangle into his hair.

It's surprising, how easily two people can slip into one moment together, but here Rick and Negan are, grinding needily against one another. Rick's eyes are squeezed tightly shut as the delightful friction starts to reach its culmination, and when he finally does finish, it's with quivering hips and shaky kisses and nibbles to Negan's collarbone.

The other man follows suit soon enough, and then they just stand there, weak-kneed and gasping for air, and then _laughing_. Rick pushes Negan's pants down, and then his own boxers, and he ushers his partner back toward the bed.

Rick doesn't know what's going to come of this, but at present, he feels pretty damned optimistic. He falls asleep curled up against Negan's chest, lips pressed to the crook of his neck, and the last thought he recalls passing through his mind before sleep steals him away is that they should have another cookout soon.

He kind of wants to show his new boyfriend off. Sophia's going to eat this shit up.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Blue Jello is next, I swear! xD


End file.
